contempt

Watch your feelings. 
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Why?  Why does watching help?  
It helps you to see your own backside. Your underside. Your blindside. It is so helpful to have an early warning system revealing what is going on beneath what you can see about yourself. It is like having a second mirror to see the very back of you—those parts you never see otherwise.  “Huh. I never knew that was showing.”  
But, first, even to be asking this question—even to be considering a second mirror— means that you realize you might have a problem.
I can see this now about myself, but the progression for me was that BECAUSE I wasn’t paying attention to feelings, mine or anyone else's (hypocritically, feeling the utmost contempt for feelings), the underworld was brewing with snakes. I was calling forth my own destruction. Actualizing my underworld into Being. What I am trying to say is that because I spoke into my world contempt, blame, frustration, and resentment I was actually reverse terraforming my paradisal Earth into an alien landscape of Mars--making it uninhabitable.  And to make it more tragic, specifically, at the time my internal reasoning would be I was showing forth behavior based on justice, rightness, truth, respect, and superior knowledge.  (Hear any God in there? Any spirit fruit?)  I was actualizing wickedness and destruction behind my own back, in my blindness and ignorance, AND suffering because of it.  It wasn’t happening to me (as I continually claimed).  I was happening to it!
Those snakes came out of nowhere (the underworld), to bite, to sting, to choke me to death. And they were my snakes, I could see a familiar pattern on their scales.  I got what I had been asking for.  It was long before I could see it is what I needed--what I "wanted," in the exact sense of what I lacked.
Or another way to say it is I fell though, smacked my face, bloodied my nose, and knocked out my teeth, way at the bottom. Bang!  Scraping myself with potsherds. 
Thank God! Look up! 
“Who am I? Who are you? What is truth? No, no no! After all these years, I don’t seem to know anything. Now, finally I see it. I feel it. Now, finally, I am truly afraid.”
And God says, “Now we are getting somewhere. Now your fear is properly oriented. This is the beginning of wisdom.  Obviously. The beginning of wisdom must start at the most terrifying place; a place called: ‘I don’t know anything.’  Where else would it start?
Now, watch. Listen. Be quiet. Do you hear that? It is your heart beating. Isn’t that awesome?  You are breathing. The lights are on. Can you hear the hum? The sun rises and it sets.  Fog rolls in from the bay. These things happen by forces you don’t understand and relate to you in ways you don’t understand, but are vital to life. Watch your feelings.  Here comes your wife. What will she see when she looks at you. What will you be 'full of' that you give off. Let’s try again."