“I want” immediately throws me into the future. Which takes me out of now—where life is. Where God is. Right now is where God is because it is where doing and faith and infinity collide. The closer I get to right now—as the second hand on my office clock is literally about to tick—an infinite number of things are occurring that are completely out of my understanding and conscious control. Unseen forces exponentially rising the instant I type this next letter. How do I move my finger? How do I..? How…? How? How… how… how… how…? I don’t know. The closer I get to that next tick, the more I must trust. It is just how it is.
So, how will I know what to do if what I want to do is the problem? (Or said another way: …if the apple I want separates me from God?). I will know what to do in a different way. A deeper way. A more miraculous way. A more powerful way. Like knowing how to grow my hair. Somehow, I know. And I have always known—a powerful gift since birth.
It is the moment Samson wanted--wanted his hair—wanted what he already had—that he gave it away—that he laid a hand on his head and was separated from it. Bye bye, God.
When Samson realized: “Because of my wanting, I sheared my own head,”
he began to know what to do again. Began to know God again. And his hair grew.
A new beginning.
The player got played. Out of the Judge—judgement. Bye bye, Samson.